My granddaughter, Lexi, will be fifteen on Tuesday. I started wondering how she looks now, all grown up. The last time I saw her was two years ago. Lots of changes occur between thirteen and fifteen. I know she will have a great birthday party planned by her family. I wonder who will be there and hate it that I can't be; San Diego is just too far for me to go right now. All this started me wondering about other people.
It's hard being isolated from friends and family. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder what everyone is doing and how they are. I visit my "friends" on Facebook, I email them and am thankful for their replies, I call periodically to get caught up; but it's not like being there, it's only a glimpse. I wonder when I will get to see them again. The "wonders" are piling up.
I wonder about my family. I wonder when Rick will get a job; he’s been unemployed since April, 2009. I wonder how well my mom is able to take care of herself, her home and her cats as she is almost 82 years old. I know she’s a strong woman, but I also know she’s getting old. I wish I could be there to help her. I wonder about the health of my brothers. I know they are getting older and must be feeling their age. My oldest brother, William, had a mini stroke last year. That was scary. I wonder how Debbie is coping since her mom went to Heaven. One day I will be in those same shoes. I wonder about Sandi as she goes through the process of getting divorced. I wonder if she knows what's in store for her. I know it will be hard because I've been through it twice, but does she know? I wonder if Jeffrey is losing weight like he said he would. We talked recently about how I was only one year older than he is now when I was diagnosed with diabetes. I wonder if he took our talk seriously and is doing something about it. I wonder if he will get diabetes. I'm afraid for him. I wonder about my step-sons, Wes and Kevin. I wonder if Wes, a linguist in the Navy, is happy living a military life. His next assignment will be on a submarine. I wonder how he really feels about that. I wonder if Kevin will ever speak to us again. He stopped about seven years ago and we don’t know why. He won’t answer calls or respond to letters. This might be my biggest wonder of all.
I wonder about myself too. I wonder what color my hair would be if I didn’t dye it (I’m just wondering, not ready to stop doing it yet…you go Debbie). I wonder if I will be successful at losing weight. I wonder if I will need knee surgery or if weight loss will alleviate the pain. I wonder what my life would have been like if I had taken that $90/week job with the State of New York back in 1970 and not the $100/week job I did take with a manufacturing company that later went bankrupt. I wonder if that $10/week difference in pay was all it took to lead me down this path I’m on. It doesn’t seem like very much to me. I have no regrets about how my life turned out; I just wonder sometimes what would have been different if I had taken a different road.
There are lots of other people I wonder about, people from my past and people in my life today. I am hoping 2010 will be a better year for me and I will be able to cross off my list some of these things I am wondering about. All this wondering is hurting my brain.
Hi Patty,
ReplyDeleteLet me assure you that we are all find here. Mom is ok. We spent a few day with her last week when Sandi was here and had a good time. We found a book in Borders on foreign insults and Sandi was saying them out loud in her accents when we got home. I have never seen your mom laugh so hard. The insult was you are a limp penis, translated though it was a limp tail. We were laughing so hard. You know animated Sandi can be.
Bill and Marilyn are fine. Saw them last week at Marilyn's and we had a good time there too. Cake and coffee.
Don't know about Jeff and Dora as we don't here from them often. Have talked to Donny and he always seems fine and dandy. I do know about missing your Grandchildren though. We miss ours too. They do not even know us. I will have to wait for Tim to have kids to spoil. For now I have Alyssa. We try to keep in touch with Ca. but it is just too far to develop any real relationship and before you know it they will be grown.
Come to NY with your trailer, there is plenty of work here. For both of you. Time marches on as we know and it marches on pretty quickly. Trust in the Lord Pat and if he is speaking to your heart, maybe you'd better be still so you can hear him. In the mean time, you know you are welcome anytime to came and stay. when you start missing "your kin" The door is always open and we will feed and house you, you do not need money.
In regards to Sandi, don't be surprised if she does not follow through with the divorce. just a feeling.
I am coping with the death of my mother as best I can. I still cannot believe I will never talk to or see her again. I do not stop to think about it for long, too painful. You just keep going. No other choice. I know she is in heaven but I will miss that beautiful soul till I see her again. Every day I still think I am going to call her. She took a piece of my soul with her. Gone too soon. Don't wait to see Astrid Patty. Life is short. I love you and I miss you. Your sister in Law - Debbie